91传媒

When people envision someone with communication confidence, they often picture someone who has always been comfortable speaking up鈥攔aising a hand without hesitation, leading conversations, or commanding attention in a room. I鈥檝e never identified with any of those traits or behaviors.

While I鈥檓 proud of the strides I鈥檝e made in my public speaking journey, my road to comfort with verbal communication began not with confidence, but with silence. Some of my earliest memories are shaped by my experiences with selective mutism, an anxiety disorder that makes speaking to unfamiliar people feel impossible. Public spaces were overwhelming, and even small interactions鈥攕uch as asking a question to my teacher at school or expressing a need鈥攆elt out of reach.

While I eventually developed coping strategies and a better understanding of my anxiety, the progress I made did not cause the discomfort to wane entirely. As I grew older, the symptoms changed, but the underlying fear remained. Speaking to new people was still challenging, and presentations in school filled me with dread well into adolescence. Soon, avoidance became my most reliable鈥攂ut limiting鈥攕trategy.

Growing up, I had a steady advocate in my father, James Matteo. A Toastmaster since 1996 and a Distinguished Toastmaster since 2020, he believed deeply in the idea that growth happens by diving headfirst into discomfort. When I turned 18, he encouraged me to join 91传媒. In true teenage fashion, I wasn鈥檛 ready to hear it and shelved the suggestion. In hindsight, my dismissal wasn鈥檛 a rejection of 91传媒鈥攊t was an implicit admission of fear.

It took six more years before I was willing to consider attending a club meeting. Joining The Toast of Celebration club in Kissimmee, Florida, at age 24, marked a turning point I didn鈥檛 fully anticipate. There wasn鈥檛 a dramatic breakthrough moment or a sudden arrival of confidence. What I found instead was a process鈥攊ncremental, sometimes uncomfortable, and consistently characterized by support from fellow club members.

Within a year, I experienced growth that once felt out of reach. I did impromptu speaking and delivered club speeches. I worked up to my biggest stretch: I moderated an educational panel at my former company鈥檚 trade show in November 2025. That moment mattered because it demonstrated what was possible when I stopped waiting to feel 鈥渞eady鈥� and instead dived into the discomfort.

What 91传媒 has taught me isn鈥檛 how to eliminate my fear, but how to work alongside it. By design, members face challenging situations in our club: standing up to speak, thinking on our feet, and receiving feedback. For someone with a history of anxiety, that structure was initially intimidating, but the predictability of the discomfort mattered. Each meeting offered a controlled environment where I could face fear incrementally rather than avoid it altogether.

Over time, what once felt overwhelming became familiar. Familiarity didn鈥檛 remove the nerves, but it made them manageable.

The experience also reinforced the importance of a support system. 91传媒 clubs are built on shared participation, encouragement, and constructive evaluation. Fellow members offered me thoughtful feedback, practical suggestions, and鈥攋ust as importantly鈥攂elief in my ability to succeed. Often, they recognized progress I was too quick to overlook. Their encouragement and support made it easier to keep showing up, even on days when self-doubt took hold.

Looking back, I鈥檓 grateful that my dad urged me to join 91传媒. What once felt like an intimidating step became a resource that reshaped how I approach fear, growth, and communication. The experience did more than strengthen my speaking skills鈥攊t changed my expectations of what I can achieve.

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